User: Cburnett

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Contents

5.1 Episode 101: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
5.2 Episode 102: Weight Gain 4000
5.3 Episode 103: Volcano
5.4 Episode 104: Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
5.5 Episode 105: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
5.6 Episode 106: Death
5.7 Episode 107: Pinkeye
5.8 Episode 108: Damien
5.9 Episode 109: Starvin' Marvin
5.10 Episode 110: Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo
5.11 Episode 111: Tom's Rhinoplasty
5.12 Episode 112: Mecha Streisand
5.13 Episode 113: Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut

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		Season 1
101		Cartman under alien control
101		Cartman with satellite dish
102		Mr. Garrison gun shopping
102		Cartman being pushed on stage by Kyle & Kenny
104		Sparky stealing Fifi's collar
104		Sparky refusing to leave Big Gay Al's when Stan says they'll work on making him not-gay

Season 1

Episode 101: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

(August 13, 1997)

Synopsis:

Cartman is abducted by aliens and implanted with a tracking device. The aliens also kidnap Ike, Kyle's brother. Cartman is abducted a second time and is returned with Pinkeye, but is not linked to episode 107 that is entitled "Pinkeye."

Plot:

Cartman under alien control

Cartman with satellite dish

This episode marks the beginning of SP and starts it off by showing Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, and Stan as fouled-mouth, but naive, children by discussing what a dildo is. Cartman reveals himself to be a pretend know-it-all along with Kenny's almost patentable muffled voice to say words that would otherwise be censored.

Cartman details his dream of being abducted and receiving an anal probe. The others convince him it was real, but Cartman writes it off as them just trying to scare him. When Chef pulls up he asks if they saw an alien spaceship and inadvertently confirms Cartman's "dream". After Chef leaves the school bus shows up introducing Mrs. Crabtree. Mrs. Crabtree is a scary-looking, loud-mouthed, middle-aged school-bus-dictator who constantly tells the children to "sit down and shut up." As the bus is driving away Kyle looks back and sees his brother, Ike, holding hands with two aliens.

The next scene shows several other aliens trying to lure away cows by whistling and offering straw. The cows aren't falling for the trap as several of them have been turned inside out. Officer Barbrady explains that cows turning inside out is nothing unusual, clearly revealing he's an incompetent law officer.

Worried about his brother, Kyle asks his teacher Mr. Garrison if he can be excused to find his brother. After being asked Mr. Garrison tells Kyle he has to ask Mr. Garrison's puppet: Mr. Hat. This is when Mr. Garrison's catch-phrase of, "You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!" is introduced. After class, the four are standing in line when Stan's love for Wendy Testaburger is revealed: by him vomiting whenever Wendy talks to him. When asked of Chef what to do when someone doesn't believe you he breaks out singing a sultry, erotic, but off-topic, song, which he often does in future episodes. After being told Kyle's brother was abducted by aliens Chef freaks out and says, "what the hell do you think you're doing in school eating salisbury steak? Go find him, dammit!" This is when a cycloptic robot pops up from behind Cartman and quickly retreats from whence it came. To help the children find Kyle's brother Chef pulls the fire alarm. On their quest to find the aliens we are shown Kenny's first of many deaths after being ran over Officer Barbrady's patrol car in pursuit of running cows.

To lure the aliens back, Stan, Kyle, and Wendy tie Cartman up to a tree. After farting flames several times an 80-foot satellite dish protrudes from his butt. After the alien spaceships show up Kyle's brother is revealed behind a door on a ship. Kyle, in trying to get his brother to jump down, tells him to do his impersenation of David Caruso's career. Before jumping out the aliens talk to the cows. The aliens explain the inside-out was "Carl's fault" and give them a device that makes people sing.

The next morning, Cartman lands at the bus stop with Pinkeye that was given to him by Scott Baio.

Quotes:

Cartman: "I'm not fat, I'm big-boned!"
Stan: "That fat bitch won't let us."
Mrs. Crabtree: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
Stan: "I said, 'Rabbits eat lettuce.'"
Chef: "What the hell do you think you're doing in school eating Salisbury steak? Go find him, dammit!"
Mrs. Cartman: "You want some Cheesy Poofs, too?"
Cartman: "Yeah I want cheesey poofs."

People references:

Tom Selleck: Cartman's response in seeing a crop circle-like formation of himself
David Caruso: When asked for Ike to do his impersonation of David's career (and jump out of the spaceship head first into the ground)
Scott Baio: Gave Cartman Pinkeye

Kenny's Death:

Hit by Officer Barbrady in police cruiser chasing cows

Episode 102: Weight Gain 4000

(August 20, 1997)

Synopsis: Cartman wins the “Save Our Fragile Planet” essay contest and will be awarded the grand prize by Kathie Lee Gifford. The town prepares for her visit in a variety of ways: Chef plans to try and make sweet love to her, Mr. Garrison along with Mr. Hat plot to kill her for a previous wrong doing, Wendy tries to prove Cartman cheated on his essay (which, of course he did) and Cartman bulks up for the big day by using a weight gain product.

Plot:

Mr. Garrison gun shopping

Cartman being pushed on stage by Kyle & Kenny

Cartman wins the “Save Our Fragile Planet” essay contest and it is announced that Kathie Lee Gifford will be coming to South Park to present him with the award. This enrages Wendy, as she believes Cartman cheated. The town becomes a flurry of excitement as everyone prepares for Kathie Lee:

The mayor organizes a large-scale event in order to highlight the town and further her career.
Chef is asked to sing at the event and hopes this will enable him to make sweet love to Kathie Lee.
Mr. Garrison, with help from Mr. Hat, plots to kill Kathie Lee for upstaging him and Mr. Hat with a rendition of “If They Could See Me Now,” during a national talent show as children.

While the town gears up for the Kathie Lee’s visit, the mayor tell Cartman he needs to get in shape for Kathie Lee’s visit. Cartman sees a commercial for Weight Gain 4000 and thinks he needs to use it to bulk up for the big day, thus becoming severely obese. While Cartman takes his fatness to the next level, Mr. Garrison is busy buying a gun to kill Kathie Lee with. Wendy discovers Mr. Garrison's plan while she is going through the essays in Mr. Garrison's file to confirm that Cartman cheated. As it turns out, Cartman simply took a copy of "Walden" by Henry David Thoreau and wrote his name on it. Wendy and Stan then try to stop Mr. Garrison when he goes to the book depository to try to Kill Kathie Lee. Mr. Garrison misses, Kenny dies and Cartman doesn’t get to be on television that day.

The episode ends with Cartman being on Geraldo for being morbidly obese and Chef getting to make sweet love Kathie Lee.

Quotes:

Cartman: “Oh, rainbows!”
Cartman: “Beefcake!”
Mr. Garrison: "The bitch must die!"
Chef: “Maybe, I can make sweet love to her.”
Wendy: “I’ve learned something today.”

People references:

Sally Struthers: In the intro on the DVD, while discussing Cartman’s weight gain Matt and Trey explain Cartman gains 700 lbs making him almost as heavy as Sally Struthers.
Kathie Lee Gifford: Kathie Lee is at the center of this episode as she is coming to South Park to give Cartman an award. During her visit Mr. Garrison hopes to kill her and Chef hopes to make sweet love to her.
Frank Gifford: Chef mentions that his penis has to be at least three times the size of Frank Gifford’s.
John F. Kennedy: Mr. Garrison shoots Kathie Lee Gifford from the book depository, which is analogous to Lee Harvey Oswald shooting John F. Kennedy from the Texas School Book Depository.

Kenny's Death:

Shot by Mr. Garrison when trying to shoot Kathie Lee Gifford; impaled on flag pole

Episode 103: Volcano

(August 27, 1997)

Synopsis: Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman go on a hunting trip with Stan’s Uncle Jimbo and Jimbo’s war buddy Ned. During the hunting trip they encounter a volcano and a creature called Scuzzlebutt.

Plot:

The crew ready to go hunting

Scuzzlebutt saves the hunting crew

Stan’s Uncle Jimbo and his war buddy Ned take Stan, Kenny, Kyle and Cartman on a hunting trip in the mountains. When they arrive in the wilderness (just outside of South Park), Jimbo gives each of the boys a gun, a beer and a pack of smokes and the hunting fun begins. Jimbo and Ned teach the boys the finer points of hunting

shout "Its coming right for us," before shooting at anything
do not spilling your beer

While out hunting the boys realize that one of the nearby mountains is rumbling (Ned and Jimbo seem to ignore this fact till it is too late). Back in South Park at the South Park Center for Seismic Activity, Stan’s dad, Randy, discovers that the mountain is going to erupt. Meanwhile on the mountain, Jimbo accidentally sets Ned on fire while the boys are roasting hot dogs and Cartman tells the story of Scuzzlebutt.

Scuzzlebutt is a creature that lives on the mountain and kills anyone who dares to climb to the top because it likes the taste of blood and likes to add pieces to it deformed body. On his hand he has a piece of celery and one of his legs is missing. In its place is Patrick Duffy. The boys don’t believe Cartman’s tale, so he decided to dress up as Scuzzlebutt the next morning to scare them. However, his plan backfires when the boys go searching for Cartman in the morning and come across the fake Scuzzlebutt and start shooting. Eventually the mistaken identity is resolved.

At a lower elevation some of the towns people are organizing a search and rescue mission for the hunting party (who still don’t realize the mountain is a volcano about to erupt) while other South Park residents dig a trench, under the guidance of Randy, to divert the lava away from the town. Just then, the mountain blows its top and the hunting group tries to flee, but alas is trapped by the trench. Then, out of nowhere, appears the real Scuzzlebutt who weaves a wicker basket and carries the hunting party to safety. The lava then flows through the trench and, due to Randy’s miscalculation, floods Denver. Stan then kills Scuzzlebutt in an attempt to prove he can kill something and make Uncle Jimbo proud.

Quotes:

Ned: "I don't think eight year old kids drink beer."
Uncle Jimbo: "Hey, look out, son, that's dangerous. You're gonna spill your beer!"
Uncle Jimbo: "MY GOD, IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!"
Cartman: "Democrats piss me off."

People references:

Patrick Duffy: Scuzzlebutt uses Patrick Duffy as one of his legs

Kenny's Death:

Crushed and burned by giant fireball

Episode 104: Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride

(September 3, 1997)

Synopsis:

Plot:

Sparky stealing Fifi's collar

Sparky refusing to leave Big Gay Al's when Stan says they'll work on making him not-gay

In waiting for the school bus, Stan's dog, Sparky, shows up. Stan claims he's the toughest dog in South Park, but Cartman thinks Sylvester is the toughest dog. Sparky and Sylvester circle around and prepare to fight when Sparky jumps on top of Sylvester. Come to find out, Sparky is a "gay homosexual," as Cartman puts it. Afterward, Sylvester runs away yelping.

At football practice, Uncle Jimbo and Ned show up (representing the South Park alumni) asking Chef if boys can beat the spread of 70 points. Impressed by a catch, Jimbo and Ned run off to the bookie where Jimbo puts $500 on the South Park Cows...and guarantees a win. Unsure of wanting to rely on Stan, Jimbo and Ned seek a backup plan and learn that John Stamos's brother Richard will be singing Loving You at half-time.

After practice Sparky shows up and says "hello" to another dog, Rex, whom also runs away yelping and tail between legs. The next day and after class, Stan asks Mr. Garrison what a homosexual is. Mr. Garrison's response is that "gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold, black hearts, which pumps not blood, like yours and mine, but rather a thick, black voluminous oil..." Stan sets on quest to make his dog not-gay after realizing he is gay. His first attempt is to show Sparky a female poodle, but that fails miserably when Sparky steals Fifi's collar. Thinking that homosexuality might not be bad, Stan calls up Jesus on his show "Jesus and Pals" to ask him what he thinks of homosexuality. Before answering, the show cuts to commercial. Frustrated, he rants about wanting a butch dog...a Rin Tin Tin. Sparky hears this and runs away where he ends up at Big Gay Al's Animal Sanctuary.

In talking to Carl, a bomb and explosive expert, Jimbo and Ned's plan is revealed: blow up the Cowboys when Richard Stamos hits the high F note in the song. To do this, they attach the bomb to Middle Park's mascot. At half-time, Richard Stamos fails to hit the note, upsetting Jimbo and Ned.

Worried about his dog Stan looks for him and finds him at the animal sanctuary. Here, Stan learns from Big Gay Al that homosexuality has been around for a long time and Stan accepts homosexuality. Returning to the game in progress, Stan steps in as the quarterback. Passing the ball to Kyle the Cows score a touchdown and beat the spread as time runs out. Although the Cows beat the spread, Richard Stamos shows up to show that he can hit the high F note, which triggers the bomb and blows up the Cowboy's mascot.

Quotes:

Stan: "Now, don't be gay! Don't be gay, Spark! Don't be gay!"

People references:

George Clooney as special guest as "Sparky the dog"
Rodney King: an announcer compares a football tackle to the beating of Rodney King
Hugh Grant: an announcer compares a football tackle to an Englishman getting a blow that bad since Hugh Grant

Kenny's Death:

Decapitated and dismembered by three Middle Park Cowboy football players

Episode 105: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig

(September 10, 1997)

Synopsis: The boys decide to try and genetically splice Kyle’s elephant with Cartman’s pot-bellied pig, Fluffy, to make pot-bellied elephants. However, pig and elephant DNA just won’t splice, so the boys must try to get them to make sweet love.

Plot:

The boys are waiting at the bus stop when Cartman notices Stan’s black eye. Stan’s sister has been beating him up and he doesn’t know what to do. Kyle has problems of his own, as his mom won’t let him keep his new pet elephant in the house. At school, Mr. Hat teaches the class about genetic engineering, which prompts Kyle to decide to splice his elephant with Cartman’s pot-bellied pig, Fluffy, to make a pot-bellied elephant. Terrance bets Kyle that he can clone a whole person before Kyle has a pot-bellied elephant. Thus, the cloning war begins.

Mr. Garrison suggests the boys use their genetic modifications for the upcoming science fair and the Kyle and crew should check out the genetic engineering ranch outside of town. Mr. Garrison then asks Stan to talk to Mr. Hat about his black eye, when Stan explain that his bruise is from his sister, Mr. Garrison calls him a pansy and sends him home. Once at home, Shelley proceeds to beat up Stan and throws him out the window. The guys are waiting for him outside and they head off for the South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch.

While at the ranch, Dr. Manifesto shows them his genetically engineered collection. Manifesto then explains that pig and elephant DNA won’t splice. He then steals a blood sample from Stan and the boys flee.

Back at school the boys learn Terrance has cloned a human foot. The boys then go to Chef with their genetic engineering problem. Chef informs that the pig and the elephant will need to make sweet love to breed. Stan goes home and gets beaten up by Shelley again.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Manifesto and his assistant have created a human clone of Stan for Terrance’s science project, whom turns out to be Manifestos’ son. Later, the boys try and get the pig and the elephant drunk, so they can make sweet love. It doesn’t seem to be working until Chef stops by and sings to the animals with a little help from Elton John.

Back at the ranch, the cloned Stan breaks free and proceeds to terrorize the town. The boys eventually find the clone and take it to the Stan’s and convince it to attack Shelley, which it does after destroying the house and indirectly killing Kenny. Manifesto shows up and kills the clone. Stan is afraid he’s in trouble for everything the clone did, but Shelley, in a brief moment of kindness, takes the heat (after which she beats up Stan again).

Some time later, the boys present their science project at school, a pot-bellied pig that looks like Mr. Garrison. Mr. Garrison then quickly awards them first prize.

Quotes:

Cartman: “If she tried anything, I’d be like, 'get you’re bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'”
Cartman: “If some girl tried to kick my ass, I’d be like, 'why don’t you stop dressing me up like the mail man and making me dance for you while you smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don’t even know on my dad’s bed!'”
Cartman: “French people piss me off.”
Pip: “Lunchie munchie.”
Chef: ‘Hmmm...now I know how all those white women must have felt.”

People references:

Fiona Apple: In the opening of the DVD, Trey says that he would like to be spliced with Fiona Apple
Elton John: Elton John stops by South Park for about 5 seconds to help Chef sing to Fluffy and the elephant so they can get in the mood to make sweet love

Kenny's Death: